Keep Calm and Confront Your Imposter Syndrome

'I have written eleven books, but each time I think, "Uh oh, they’re going to find out now".'

Maya Angelou

That feeling of being a fraud, even when there’s clear evidence to the contrary, is a classic case of Imposter Syndrome.

It’s the persistent inability to believe that your achievements are deserved.

It's often accompanied by the fear of being 'found out'.

And it's all there, in that little voice in your head.

I've been a head for 19 years now and I still have it!

It first hit hard in 2006 when I was appointed as headteacher at Highgate Wood School.

I had been a senior leader for just over five years, only 15 months of that as a Deputy Head.

At 34, I was the youngest and least experienced on the senior team that I was asked to lead.

That little voice was relentless:

'You’re not ready.'

'You’ve fooled everyone.'

'Sooner or later, they’ll find you out.'

The Summer of Self-Doubt

The months leading up to me taking over at the school were challenging.

Though my predecessor, Pauline Ashbee, was still officially in charge, colleagues began looking to me for decisions.

I wasn’t ready, and I knew it.

Or rather, I believed it.

That’s when Pauline gave me a piece of advice I’ve held onto ever since:

'Patrick, you can choose what you think.'

Simple, but profound.

It reminded me that while I couldn’t stop the negative thoughts, I could decide how to respond to them.

Calm Leadership

Since then, I’ve developed strategies to manage Imposter Syndrome as part of my Calm Leadership* approach.

I don't eliminate the voice entirely (a bit of self-doubt guards against your ego taking over, which is worse all round) but I can prevent it from undermining my confidence and my leadership.

Here are four of the approaches that have worked for me.

I'm sure, with a bit of practice, they can help you too.

1. Turn the Negative Voice into an External One

Step one, is to listen to what that little voice is saying:

• 'You can't do this.'
• 'You’re not good enough.'
• 'Today's the day they'll find you out!'

Then, recognise it for what it is – just a voice.

I imagine it as a devil on my shoulder, not me.

Shifting the voice from internal to external gives me more control of ‘me’.

Sometimes, I even 'turn down the volume' by pretending to twist a radio dial.

It sounds silly, but it works.

And it's not as silly as listening to a voice telling you fibs all day every day.

Next, replace the negative thought with an alternative.

And – crucially – back it up with evidence.

For example:

• Negative Voice: 'You can’t do this.'
• Positive Alternative: 'I can do this—I know I can!'
• Affirming Rationale: 'You turned around Year 11 behaviour in six weeks. You’ve implemented successful strategies before. You’ve got the skill set and the experience to succeed again.'

Without that rationale, affirmations are just empty words.

The power comes from reminding yourself of the facts that counter the fiction your brain is feeding you.

2. Use ‘Cognitive Dissonance’ In Your Favour

Our brains are wired to reinforce our existing beliefs.

If you believe you’re not good enough, you’ll notice every mistake and ignore every success.

But what if you flip that?

Start from a positive assumption:

'I am capable. I deserve to be here.'

Then interpret the evidence around you through that lens.

Celebrate the supportive emails.

Take credit for the progress you’ve made.

Don’t let one critical comment outweigh ten compliments.

A word of caution though…

This isn’t about ignoring reality or creating a fantasy world.

It’s simply about refusing to give disproportionate weight to negative feedback when the bigger picture says otherwise.

3. Build Your ‘Accomplishment Jar’

Steve Harvey, the African-American talkshow host and comedian, talks about his Gratitude Jar.

I use a mental 'Accomplishment Jar' instead.

At the end of each day, I note what went well.

Big or small.

This is especially important after a tough day when the inner critic is loudest.

It’s a simple habit, but over time it reinforces the truth – you’re doing more right than you often think!

4. Accept That Everyone’s Winging It… At Least a Bit!

A headteacher friend once told me, 'I became more confident the day I realised everyone else was winging it too'.**

Leadership is complex, fast-moving, and full of uncertainty.

Nobody has all the answers.

That hero of yours you’ve put on a pedestal?

They have their doubts too.

Lower the pedestal and stop holding yourself to an impossible standard.

Final Thoughts

Imposter Syndrome thrives in silence.

The more we internalise it, the stronger it becomes.

Confronting it starts with recognising the voice, challenging it with facts, and reminding ourselves that leadership isn’t about perfection.

It’s about progress.

So, next time that voice whispers, 'You’re not ready,' answer back:

'I’m ready enough. I’ve done hard things before, and I’ll do them again.'

Your accomplishments, not your anxieties, define you.

As Pauline Ashbee told me, ‘Choose what you think’

And now lead like you mean it. [ITL]

*For more of Patrick's hard-won leadership wisdom, his new book Calm Leadership, will be published by Crown House next year.

**Number one on our 'First Nineteen Lessons of Headship' is 'Leadership is about making it up as you go along and dealing with what happens next'. Check out the other 18 lesson here.